


It Was a Big Big World but We Thought We Were Bigger

by All_my_favorite_characters_are_empresses



Series: How Much Damage Can One Girl Do? [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Gray Jedi, Jedi Training, New Jedi Order, Old Ben Kenobi, Other, References to the Jedi Council, Thisiswhywecan'thavenicethings, onceiwas7yearsold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 12:25:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13658943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_my_favorite_characters_are_empresses/pseuds/All_my_favorite_characters_are_empresses
Summary: A pre-Luke/OC fic with a whole lot of backstory for said OC. It was rather difficult, Raina found, to make a name for yourself without anyone knowing your name. It caused quite a few miscommunications and even more annoyances. But if people knew who she was- what she was- too early, then the questions would come before she could stop them. How did she survive and were there any more?





	It Was a Big Big World but We Thought We Were Bigger

_Once I was seven years old my momma told me_  
Go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely  
Once I was seven years old

_…_

It wasn’t easy. No, because when you were supposed to be making a name for yourself without anyone knowing your name… well, it was complicated. It caused miscommunications, problems, and annoyances.

She knew she shouldn’t view them as problems, that wasn’t a good mantra, and instead she might see them as opportunities. Another rung in the ladder of life. But life wasn’t a latter either because that would imply that some people were higher than others, while that kind of inequality was not fitting to their world or her station. Not that she had a station, she was just a lowly soldier in the small resistance. And yet she was the last true scale of justice, the final gavel to be broken trying to hammer their world back together. She was meant to be no one and everyone.

Oddly, it did not intimidate her as much as it should have.

So as she limped her R-41 Starchaser to the nearest cesspool of a planet after a resistance mission gone terribly wrong, she felt the comfort of being unknown. It did not matter that no one else from her squad survived. She had tried and she had failed. But it didn’t matter because she was nobody.

It was only after she had to pry her hull open and fell onto the disgustingly steaming sand of Tatooine did she realize that she’d messed up. Anywhere but here- it was a rule. A rule ever to be broken. It would bring too much attention to the planet, too much attention to it’s living in peace force-users.

“Shit.” She threw her helmet aside and breathed deeply the dry desert air and tried not to curse in every language. She had to get off-world soon before she did something to destroy the work of a decade. So she began walking with a blaster and nothing to her name– barely a name she could give.

With each breath she tightened her hold on her luck. It was a fortune really, a 6th sense although her master hated when she referred to it as such. She was sure she could be blind and still see the world in the vibrancy the force created for her. It was through the force she knew where to walk. It extended to life as it always did, only her discipline reining it in, like a net meant to keep it close and keep her together.

Eventually, a town came into view and it appeared to be well inhabited. Where did people congregate? Bars. Which building was a bar? That one had the most people in it, and it appeared to have a number of ships in a yard. She didn’t think twice before walking into the cantina of Mos Eisley.

As a thirteen-year-old girl, she attracted all sorts of stares as she walked into the motley assortment of individuals that practically lived in the cantina. Very few of those stares could be defined as friendly and some were too friendly as she, despite best efforts, appeared lost.

“Are you looking for someone?” A voice asked and she spun to see an older man with crystal blue eyes, eyeing her with what strangely appeared to be humor.

She raised an eyebrow, “Not in particular,” She scanned the people around them, “Just someone who can get me off planet as soon as possible.” Softly, curiously, she let a tendril of power slip from her shield and reach for him. And found another wall.

With eyes widened she almost stumbled back, “Pardon me, I need to be leaving.” His greying copper hair hit her next and she was quick to turn away and continue searching for a flight back. She would not introduce herself. She would hope they would both just forget the encounter. She wouldn’t look back.

She would leave Tatooine quickly.

It was fortunate that she managed to make a deal of her lifetime. She helped a quick shot and fast flyer who was willing to cut a deal.

**_By eleven smoking herb and drinking burning liquor  
Never rich so we were out to make that steady figure_ **

When she was 15 years old, she was a captain in the group of people that made up a resistance against the empire and most of her colleagues knew her name. She had singlehandedly led a retreat after their commander had walked them all in a trap. The moment the minefield chirped active, he was blown to pieces. She had instinctively thrown up a shield to protect hers and then with the attention that brought her she led them all step by step through the demolitions, narrowing avoiding them all.

She had led a rescuing of 250 slaves from the struggling storm trooper program. There were no loses. One of the slaves stuck close to her, she wanted revenge and she thought the captain would help her.

Calla had been sold to the empire by her junkie parents when she was thirteen and she had vowed to destroy everyone who ever laid a finger on her. She knew that the captain was special despite being the same age, and she snuck into the captain’s private training sessions every night past midnight to copy the stances and katas that the girl performed.

“You can come into the light, you know?”

Calla was stunned by being noticed when she’d been so stealthy these last few months, but she came out from behind her cover, “You knew I was here?”

The captain laughed sounding like the 15 year old girl when she rarely acted like one from what Calla saw, “I’ll make you a deal- I’ll train you myself, out here in the light, and even give you the opportunity to take the revenge you so dearly want, under one condition.”

Calla came to stand in front of her, “Anything.”

“On my terms with my time table, my rules, and complete discretion.”

“Yes.” Calla didn’t even question how the girl knew what she wanted. She hadn’t known that her own force signature beamed brightly to someone who could teach it.

Calla learned quickly what the captain was, and the power that associated with her. This was a girl meant to change the world, but for now was kicking ass in hand to hand combat practice and squadron drills.

The girl’s name was Raina, and she was promoted to commander on her 16th birthday.

As the youngest to ever be that high, she garnered attention.

She was invited to the Alderaan Palace to meet with one of the most faithful empire senators, and also the most faithful resistance supplier.

Senator Organa met her with open arms that she hugged back, “Senator, it is a pleasure to meet you.” Her words were crisp and her power stretched testing out the surroundings, the people, the loyalties.

“Raina Ca’veth, I’ve heard much about you. Why don’t we go inside?” She was still debating if this was a trap, a scolding, or a bonus. These words didn’t settle her.

Once they were alone in a rather oversized parlor room, seated in plush chairs with tea on end tables and birds chirping outside, he began, “I knew your father, you know?”

Raina did not miss a beat as she sipped her tea, “I did. How is your daughter?”

“She is well and growing so fast. It is a shame she does not have a sibling.”

“Yes.” It felt weird exchanging these thinly veiled phrases, as if it did not contain the security and hope of a galaxy.

“Where did you go to school again?” Organa was smiling and soon so was she.

She needed to get back to Dagobah soon to fix a leak in the roof her master kept saying didn’t bother him, “A little place out in the middle of nowhere. Excellent teacher though, even if he challenged me with stubbornness.”

**_It was a big big world, but we thought we were bigger  
Pushing each other to the limits, we were learning quicker_ **

That was how Raina began being assigned more dangerous missions, and how Calla began to grow with her. The two were inseparable and no one in the chain of command was going to argue with Raina. She and Calla had collected two other girls into their odd school of friends. Willow and Jem were younger, fourteen and thirteen, and neither could go on a mission without Calla or Raina.

An explosion went off to her left and she sent up a shield instinctively that blocked her squad from harm and blast effects as they got into position, “Calla!” Raina shouted into her comm, her helmet fogging with the warm air in the cold landscape, “How are you doing?”

On the other side of the line, she could hear blasters, “Almost there!”

Raina refrained from telling her to hurry up, instead of looking out from her cover for a second to eye where each stormtrooper was, “Take your time, I got the distraction.” She said calmly as she stepped out from cover and every eye and blaster turned to her on the field.

On a tundra of rock and unforgiving cold, their rag band team of misfits was meant to get the supplies and valuable information from that empirical ship. As every blaster fired at her, Raina smirked raising her hand and every blast froze midair making them only red dots of energy on her landscape.

“Show off.” She heard joked into her comm but she held her concentration as more blaster fire came and it all paused in the same radius around her. She took a deep breath in as the soldiers stopped their firing to stare at her red wall of blaster fire in curiosity and frustration. Hundreds of dots, frozen in air and time.

Then she let out her breath and that wall exploded backward at the people who shot them initially while the guns above the ship powered on, “Took you long enough.” Calla’s laughter could be heard as the ship’s guns began firing on the stormtroopers and Raina gave the motion for her squad to advance while she took a second to catch her breath before following.

The two could do anything together, Raina believed it. And Calla slowly began to see it too.

 _Once I was eleven years old my daddy told me_  
Go get yourself a husband or you'll be lonely  
Once I was eleven years old

Raina went to Tatooine more often as she grew up, less afraid of warnings that the force would betray her when she was so close to it.

A group of boys was being huddled by some mercenaries one day while Raina and Calla were using the sands as a training ideal. They had scrapped two pieces of metal found in the sand and were surfing through the drifts when they came upon the sight and decided to see what the fuss was.

“Good afternoon!” Raina called as they approached and raised her goggles to her head, “What seems to be the issue?”

The mercenaries turned to them, 8 in number - varied in species, but the Mandalore spoke for the group, “Their families refused to pay the great Jabba his due. When they make their payments they’ll get their children back.”

Calla spokes since Raina seemed occupied scanning the group, “Taking away a workforce when you want money hardly seems the logical way to get it.”  

The Mandalore put his hand on the blaster on his hip, “It seems you need a lesson in economics.”

Calla laughed, her tone as shining as her golden hair, but her expression darkened to match the black streaks in the gold, “From you and whose army?” Her confidence was admirable.

Raina cut off the hands reaching for weapons, “I don’t think you want to fight.”

A few hands stayed primed for weapons while 4 visibly relaxed and Calla sighed before submitting, “No, you’d rather get off planet and stop serving this great Jabba.” Two began walking away.

The Mandalore looked at them, “What? Get back here cowards! They’re two girls!” Then back at the two smirking girls and it seemed his patience ran out.

Shots came next which both dodged while Raina charged into his personal space, slapping his gun arm out of the way, hitting his throat hard and spinning to pop his feet from under him. Then she kicked hard on his head. Calla managed the next closest to the ground and blasted his gun wrist. Calla’s next shot went into the man aiming for Raina’s back while they took down one by one.

They were like a force of nature, each intimately aware of their movements and every blaster. They would cut space close, but it did not matter if they couldn’t see their opponent or their obstacle. They dodged and they nailed every hit.

The herd of boys ages didn’t know if they should be scared or impressed. Most would go home and talk of nothing but this and would reenact it with friends and fake guns or staffs.

When done Raina raised a hand and high-fived Calla without looking her way.

A boy about 15 spoke first, “That was awesome!” The rest clamored after him while Raina and Calla laughed at the praise.

“I mean, I’ve always thought we were awesome-“ Calla started and Raina held up a hand to stop her.

“Excuse me, you were a beat late in the intro.”

“Only because you feinted on the staccato!” Their banter faded as they realized they were now in charge of 15 or so young boys, “What do we do with them?”

Raina just stared at one, 15 also, but quieter, “What’s your name?” She asked and there was no mistake who she was talking to.

Shaggy blonde hair the color of the sand, the boy smiled goofily, “Luke, Luke Skywalker.”

Raina and Calla escorted every boy home, saving the older ones for the last considering that they could’ve gone home on their own but they just kept asking the girls questions.

“How have you guys been so many places? We can’t even manage to get off this rock?” Luke asked and Raina shrugged, eyeing the sand beneath her shoes.

Calla was looking tired and her patience waning as Raina finally cut off the questions in the setting sun, “Cal, why don’t you go back to the ship? I’ll be along shortly. I have one more stop to make on this planet I think.”

Her apprentice eyed her with curiosity but never suspicion, “Are you sure? I can come with you.” Her yawn was barely hidden behind her hand. It was their first week off to focus on training in a month and Raina knew how beat it made a person.

So Calla took off, back toward their ship, their comms active between them and the location of their ship, so getting lost wasn’t an option in this desert wasteland.

“Um, if it helps I can stay at Luke’s farm, you don’t need to walk us home.” The more talkative boy, Biggs, offered.

Raina shrugged, “It’s not a concern to me, she’s just had a tough week. Skywalker is a familiar name, would I know you?” She directed to Luke.

“My father was a pilot in the Clone Wars.” He said in a hopeful way as if her validation would prove it.

She raised an eyebrow, “Yeah? That must be where I heard it from then. My history has usually been good though, who told you that story?”

Luke smiled, “I knew it was true! Old Ben Kenobi, he said that he knew my father. Maybe you know him too?”

Raina could only smile, “Kenobi is a big name as far as the war goes, but not Ben. It must be a relative.”

Biggs scoffed, “I knew we wouldn’t have a war hero living as a hermit in the desert of Tatooine.”

She could see the farmhouse from here and she stopped walking, “It was a pleasure to meet you Luke, Biggs. I wish you all the best in your adventures, on the planet and off. I’m sure we’ll see you around.” She winked before walking off and then asking in hindsight, “This old Ben? Can you point me in a direction?”

Luke nodded and pointed southwestern, “Just over the ridge that way, can’t be more than five miles.”

Raina nodded her thanks before walking southwestern. As she walked she let her power stretch and yawn. She let it wash over what life was out after dark and let it warn them not to disturb her. She could hear the rats sleeping in their caverns and the bat-birds flying over the rocks.

And when she approached the dull white clay hut with the wind blowing dust across her vision, she could sense her father. It was much too late for visitors but as the wind continued to pick up, she had to take deep breaths and calm herself. Raina pulled in her power, masking her signature, and knew she had to get it over with. Otherwise, she’d always wonder, she’d always consider what might have been.

**_I always had that dream like my daddy before me  
So I started writing songs, I started writing stories_ **

Her hand formed a fist and rapped quietly on the front door, or what appeared to be the front door. If he didn’t answer she’d walk away. She repeated that to herself a couple times before the door opened an inch, slowly.

Raina was unintimidating. Many had told her so. On missions, she wore a nondescript suit and helmet that matched Calla, Willow and Jem. On her downtime, she wore close cut black leggings and a tunic or cargo pants and a t-shirt with a vest. The latter being true today, her hair was in a simple ponytail and she appeared as nothing extraordinary when the older man slowly looked her up and down.

“Well? It’s a little late for visitors. Not that I get many.” He spoke with a tone that held humor, no irritability.

Raina tried to think of a lie, but none came easily, “Are you Obi Wan Kenobi?” The wind picked up effortless to hide her words from the prying ears of rats and bats as the man’s face slackened in shock and then a beat of fear, “I mean no harm. My name is Raina Ca’veth Kenobi of the rebel alliance.”

It was the first time she’d said her full name in years and the words felt foreign to her tongue, and even more foreign to his ears it seemed. He let the door open wider and moved from the doorway to allow her in silently. She walked through the doorway and stood in the darkened room and waited as he lit a few lamps. There was a round table and a bed. There was storage and a small kitchen near the ventilator. There was only one chair at the dining table and one placemat.

“You weren’t lying when you said you don’t normally get visitors.” The words slipped out and she almost hit herself. Is that how she should talk to a master, even one that was her father and refused to have any previous contact with her?

The man laughed nervously, “No, no I wasn’t.” He was rubbing his face, as he went to the kitchen, “Tea?”

Raina almost laughed, “Yes, thank you.” She always liked tea when upset or nervous.

While he was making it she stood completely still, letting her eyes absorb every detail.

He handed her a cup before motioning for her to take a seat on his bed but she just sat where she previously stood. Kenobi stared for a second before sitting across from her, legs cross as well.

“It’s you then? The commander that the media has gone crazy for?” Raina almost chocked on her tea.

She coughed into her elbow before looking down at the floor, “I don’t usually watch the news so I wouldn’t know. But probably.” She knew she was showy sometimes.

“You’re my daughter then.” Kenobi laughed as if that could fix whatever bridge was between them and Raina tried to sympathize with him.

“I know. I’ve been told.”

“And your master?”

“Alive and well. Or well enough. The roof has been leaking for a month and I haven’t gotten round to fix it.”

“You’re master then?” The shock showed on his face and she nodded looking at the floor.

She shrugged with a smile remembering the day, “I still don’t know if it is out of necessity or sincere belief. I prefer to believe the latter.” Her comm, detached and at her hip began vibrating, “Pardon me.” She picked it up, “Calla, is everything alright?”

“I was calling to ask you that! I expected you back an hour ago.” The volume was high enough Kenobi could hear every word.

“I’ll be home shortly, please get some rest and check on Willow and Jem if you get the chance.”

 The beat of silence spoke volumes of what Calla thought of those orders but it was followed with, “Be safe.”

“And you.” The call ended and Raina looked at her father, a man she wouldn’t have recognized, “Sorry.”

“And your mother?” The hope in his voice told Raina enough.

She sipped her tea, “She died when I was seven.” She had woken in the night and cried all through till morning even when Master Yoda woken with her and made her tea and tried to help her through meditation.

They continued to talk, meaningless small talk before Raina left. Now she wouldn’t wonder at all what and who her father was. He was kind, and sincere, and not the man she’d learned about in history. Not anymore. He was just a hermit on Tatooine. Another folk with a past they’d rather forget.

She was a girl with a future to create.

By the time she was eighteen she was nearly a celebrity- well, her persona. She, Calla, Willow, and Jem: the four of them together made up the Viper Squad. They were fiercely protective of one another and had their own fighting style, both with blasters and with the weapons of trade. There was no weapon they couldn’t make theirs. It was no secret when they were on the battlefield that they knew the ancient Jedi fighting styles- they entire bodies emboldened with the force, each mentally in touch with the others.

**_Something about that glory just always seemed to bore me  
'Cause only those I really love will ever really know me_ **

The cave was remote in the Icelands of IIum and the hike itself took 4 hours, but Raina insisted on the hike and the girls had fun. They each had a pack and had to climb to the entrance but not one complained. Not one mentioned the spider webs that Raina carefully avoided through the narrow opening in the mountain.

Then came the lights, glowing, brilliant, and fantastic.

They all began talking at once.

“This is beautiful!”  
“Oh my gods!”  
“Look at the colors!”  
“We have to take a picture!”

Those were mainly Willow and Jem while Calla just gasped before she caught Raina’s eye, “Kyber?” Then with the biggest smile, “Seriously?” The hair stood up on Raina’s arms and she looked at each of them in turn. They’d seen her practice with them, and each had practiced the moves with staffs but none of the younger girls had one.

Her girls, trained and protected, honest and good and worth fighting for. Her family and friends. Her apprentices, or to be old fashioned “padawans”. Then she smiled, “Seriously.”

Calla was the first to reach Raina and hold her in the tightest hug. She was followed closely by Jem and Willow which only further suffocated Raina but she only laughed and hugged them all before letting them go, “Now, before your excitement gets ahead of you, take a seat.”

They formed a circle of four and Raina put a small chisel and hammer in the center of them, “Meditation. Begin now.” Their eyes closed without question and Raina felt their minds go relaxed and outstretch. She used her own to mask all their signatures in the unlikely case of prying minds nearby. Raina would be what some considered paranoid. There were few who knew her true last name in the resistance, Calla being one of them.

She closed her eyes and spoke directly to their minds, “One of you will feel pulled to the chisel. You will know it and you will go first.” This was the role of the force and Raina knew who it would call upon.

Calla’s hand hovered over the hammer for a second before taking it and opening her eyes to look to her mentor and best friend whose eyes were closed. The chance of a life time was offered to her, and she had only seen the prospect of revenge while she had received so much more.

It was sad that she wouldn’t get around to admitting it all to Raina till it was far too late.

For now, she settled for the pride on her master’s face as they went through their katas with true lightsabers for the first time. They were going to have fun, all in good time.

At nineteen Raina finally met a challenge. She was at a ball of sorts, for imperial officers and the like. She had been snuck in and she hid any evidence of the force on her as best she could. She was just here to gain intelligence as a lowly handmaiden to the princess of Aderlaan. It didn’t matter that both her and Leia knew what she was. No one else could here.

“All bow to the Darth Vader and his apprentice, Mardus of Taris!” A voice boomed over the ballroom and instantly Raina lowered herself into a curtsy with eyes lowered. The whole room followed suit.

She could feel the two of them enter the room, descend the staircase. Don’t look up, don’t look up, don’t look up she repeated to herself as she felt them get closer.

“Rise.” Vader’s voice shook the room and Raina knew old power when she heard it.

She waited until a beat after the princess stood to follow, but her eyes raised at the approach of the younger, Mardus. He must have been only a little older than Raina, short dark hair and bright blue eyes.

“Princess,” He began and kissed Leia’s offered hand, “Your father?”

Leia smiled demurely, “Not present tonight, I’m afraid. He was feeling rather ill this week.” Organa was a strong Imperial supporter to the public eye.

The young man ticked his tongue, “That’s a shame,” His voice practically purred, and Raina let herself feel his energy hum. His eyes snapped to hers and she quickly pulled her energy tight and lowered her eyes, “Who is this?”

Leia’s paleness went unnoticed as she spoke, “My handmaiden, Rain.” Raina lowered herself in a curtsy, don’t look up. Don’t look up. She began repeating it but she couldn’t help it. Her eyes looked up even as she remained curtsied.

But she felt his energy hum, and she couldn’t help the smirk that came to her face at the idea of a challenge.

He seemed to agree with a matching smile and extended hand, “May I ask for a dance?”

She was wearing a light blue to contrast the deep red of Leia’s gown. He was in all black formal wear and when she was swept out on his arm the room had to watch. The contrast between the light blue and the black brought attention alone, then the idea of the dark apprentice dancing at all… the two were night and day.

Each step, each note, each touch was watched and admired. Their grace was unparalleled and their connection undeniable. 

Mardus was the balance to Raina in every way. They complimented each other perfect and anyone watching them on the dance floor knew it. Vader knew it. And that was dangerous. They were the definition of dangerous.

One dance, shouldn’t start a fire, Raina told herself. But words were only words. And soon they were danger incarnate. It was a time bomb with Raina lying to him at every turn.

She took a friend’s last name as her own when with him. She hid the force and she never even hinted at sympathy for the rebels. Only for the innocent. She pled with him time and time again to stop this before it became too late. And he condescended her.

The lies were plentiful between both of them, but the biggest truth was “I love you.” And they both meant it. 7

 _Once I was twenty years old, my story got told_  
Before the morning sun, when life was lonely  
Once I was twenty years old

A year later everything hit the fan.

Calla had been captured.

And Raina would stop at nothing to get her back. That was a line they should’ve known not to cross.

It was on Coruscant, now the Imperial city, at the old Jedi temples. There were crowds though, some of both Imperial loyalty and rebel sympathizers. The emperor did not deign to come out from his temple but Vader surveyed the crowds entering with a critical eye.

Raina barely recognized the temple, now dark and stoically dim with red banners waving from all walls. She kept her distance in her dark tunic and leggings, a deep red cloak’s hood over her head. She was also noting every person who walked into the temple. And the man standing next to Vader with a blank face and easy glares.

Why did she have to mess up so horribly?

Once they shut the doors, about 30 storm troopers came to guard the doors. It was too easy.

Raina was not going to be stealthy. She had the advantage of surprise and she was going to use all of it. This was a generation that had never seen a Jedi fight. And she was going to give them a show.

With her hood up she walked straight at the stormtroopers, “Freeze!” One at the center shouted and they all pointed their weapons at the oncoming intruder.

She smiled under her hood, “I don’t think you want to do that,” Slowly their weapons lowered and she let her power go out in tendrils for each of their minds, “I think you want to escort me in.” The ones closest to the door opened it without question and they formed ranks around her silently.

Inside the arena, the change in the air was palpable. Calla was tied to a block in the center of the round room, her clothes had been torn in places with bruises and scar marring her. Her body beaten but her mind alive the minute she felt Raina enter. Surrounded by troopers, at least 50 on the floor alone, she hadn’t been sure Raina would willingly walk into so blatant a trap as this. But now, she felt the confidence and the power- for once untamed and raw.  

Raina had never commanded this much of the force at once, and she hoped it wouldn’t abandon her now as her make-do force of storm troopers marched her straight through the narrow doorway of the arena. Vadar was already smirking from the highest box with confidence at the mouse that took the cheese of her captured apprentice.

As she strode into the light of the arena, she gave the order to fire and all 30 of her stormtroopers took aim and fired at their own on the floor and the first level up. She unclipped the rarely used weapons at her belt and they activated with a familiar ‘vrrromm’.

Her hood didn’t stand a chance at staying on her head as she rushed the nearest stormtrooper, the twin blades spinning in a blur to deflect any blast that had a chance at hitting her, the force guiding her motions to keep many at least an inch away.

She’d swing at one, her motion letting a blast narrowly avoid her shoulder before she’d leap using the force of her lightsaber cutting down to help propel her up and over the one she’d cut. She’d land with one foot on the helmet of another, a rogue shot dropping that one just as she leapt over the next, cutting him down in an arc as she flipped through the air.

Stormtroopers really were an awful shot.

They fell like trees, her body jumping at angles they couldn’t even comprehend, with a height and speed they’d never seen. Her feet seemed to barely touch the ground before hopping away. Blasts that should have hit her either deflected off her sabers or off a blue shield that defended her at a mere thought. Raina fought her way to the center with ease and once there, extended that deflecting shield around the beaten girl and herself.

Her power reached out to the minds of more, turning the remaining troopers on the floor to her protectors much to the chagrin of the Sith on the highest level. They were going to come down and deal with her themselves. Time was running out.

Raina quickly broke the chains keeping Calla and her cloak came around to wrap up her friend, “What are the chances you could hold your lightsaber?”

Calla nodded and extended a hand. Raina gave up the third she had on her belt and Calla clicked it on, taking comfort in the feel of it, “Give no mercy, if I pause, if I fall, you run. You understand?” Raina’s words were emotionless as her eyes gazed over the thinning crowd and their defensive stormtroopers, ignoring the blasters that deflected off her shield, “Jem is waiting to fly us out of here, we need to get to the roof. Willow is ready to help us hold it.”

Calla nodded and Raina turned so they were back to back, “Ready when you are.” Calla said quietly trying to tap into the energy Raina had weaved around them, and it was overwhelming the control Raina expanded.

The shield came down and they both had sabers swinging as they flowed and ebbed with one another against foes at all edges. With every defensive stormtrooper that fell Raina reached out and took another one to their side. It was smooth, it was life and death, and it was the way they’d get out of here.

They made it to the hallway and both broke off sprinting at the first corner. It would bottleneck the forces they left behind, but Raina felt her control sag once too far from the stormtroopers. They went up the first set of stairs at least two levels before they heard footsteps in front of them, coming down to them.

“Down.” Raina commanded, and Calla didn’t think twice before ducking and a small explosive flew over her head down the stairs to the footsteps and voices that way. Then one flew straight up the spiral stairs, blinking blue. Both Jedi covered their ears as it reached its peak blinking the fastest and lightening shot out from it hitting several unknowns up the stair case causing a commotion. Raina pointed to the second level doorway and they snuck that way.

“There is an access ladder this way.” She led down another two hallways with sabers powered off before lifting a panel off a wall to reveal a metal ladder, “Go.” She motioned for Calla to go as foot steps and voices could be heard from some ways back.

Raina replaced the panel behind them and climbed after her friend, “Jem, be there in five.” It was a long climb up. The roof of the temple was flat with various glittering dooms rising from it that were chipped and cracked from disuse.

They got there in record time and Calla was scanning the sky, “Running a little late?” She asked trying to restore humor, but Raina was trying to stretch and feel how far their rescue may be with growing nerves. Something was off.

“You’re not the only one who can hide in plain sight you know.” A voice rang out and Raina sighed before turning to face it. She always knew she’d have to.

“I don’t want to fight you.” Her voice was as sincere as she could make it, her blue eyes into his, “You don’t have to do this.”

He was glaring at her and she could feel his anger clouding the air like a smog, “What choice do you leave me? You lied to me!”

Raina’s shoulders sagged, “Not everything was a lie.” Her defeated voice to his anger was the perfect foil.

“Like I should believe you!” Mardus charged at her, two-sided red light saber swirling. Raina held a hand to Calla to stop her from interfering.

She matched him, blow for blow. He’d hit high and then swing for her side, she was like trying to hit a cloud as she twisted to avoid every blow, merely deflecting with her blue and silver blurs.

“I swear to you, I love you, but I will be leaving this rooftop tonight.” He threw them apart, both catching their balance easily, “Don’t make this so hard.” His eyes finally showed the conflict she felt and the next time he attacked it was with less vigor. It was clear she was the better competitor even if she threw her blows to keep herself from harming him.

The next time they held their sabers over each other’s heads, both matched for strength and Raina force pushed him back into a wall, “Stay down Mardus, I don’t want to hurt you.” Their ship came flying over head and a ladder came down. The amount of power he had felt when she entered the arena. How had he never seen it?

The man she’d come to love simply looked at Raina and she felt the defeat in him. He wouldn’t win this fight, and he didn’t want to. He loved her too, in the end, “Go.” Her smile was the world as she turned and pointed to the ladder.

Calla moved for it first and got two rungs up, Raina two steps closer before they both realized their mistake.

A red lightsaber went flying across the roof, the red beam impaling Raina’s chest from behind. She stumbled forward as the force hit her and Mardus ran to her side with a shout.

The blood began soaking the black of her tunic and she could taste it in her mouth. Her life. Her friends, the rebels. They had counted on her. She had failed them. The beam of light went back and the metal fell to the ground next to her.

Mardus was grabbing her face even as a dark figure approached them, “Rain? Please stay with me.” She could feel him trying to heal her even as her vision began to fade. Her team was frozen, Calla still on the ladder. Raina falling, although theoretically possible, was never something they’d considered.

“I expected this weakness of a Kenobi, but never my apprentice. You will pay for this weakness.” She heard the deep voice from the dark figure above and focused as hard as she could on the thin tethers that kept her to this world.

The strings of the force that she attached without knowing it. It was a web around her, to Calla, to Willow, to Jem, to Senetor Organa, to Master Yoda, to her father, to the dark figure standing above them, and to Mardus.

**_I only see my goals, I don't believe in failure  
'Cause I know the smallest voices, they can make it major_ **

She held tightest on his tether to her, the force humming with the pressure, “Please.” Her voice cracked out of weakness, her breath beginning to thin, her lung filling with fluid.

And then the impossible happened.

Her vision began to widen again. Breathing became easier. Tears retreated. The pain in her chest subsided. The skin began to close and her tethers to this world brightened and strengthened again.

All except one, one began to darken, to thin, to stretch. Mardus’s hold on her fell as he rolled to the floor of the roof, a dark wound developing on his chest. She stared in horror, “No.”

He coughed and tried to sit but failed, “No, you weren’t supposed to let me. You were supposed to be stronger. I didn’t-“ Raina cut herself off as Mardus began coughing blood onto the roof floor, the hole in his chest forming with singed edges… the wound of a lightsaber.

“How?” Vader demanded, his voice booming off the roof, an old wound reopened.

Her hand flew to her chest which had healed completely and she stumbled backwards, “No, no no-“ She didn’t register the hand that grabbed her arm and pulled her to the ladder. She didn’t register Vader shouting or the death grasp on her as the ladder was pulled up and the ship took off. She only felt that tether snap. Saw the body go limp. And knew she was leaving him.

She had killed him.

Her team got her in the ship and got away into hyperspace before she even spoke a word.

Willow was sitting next to her, Jem and Calla at the wheel, all of them close by in her private ship when she spoke, “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

They each looked at her in turn but none of them spoke.

Their silence was the worst thing to Raina. She was a monster. She was no better than them. She was a –

“Thank you.” Calla spoke finally cutting into Raina’s self-loathing, “I’d thought perhaps that was more trouble than you were capable of getting me out of.”

 She’d saved her best friend. Her apprentice. That meant something.

Willow hugged her silently and that meant something. Jem got her tea. They all meant something.

**_I got my girls with me, at least those in favor  
And if we don't meet before I leave, I hope I'll see you later_ **

Raina slept the minute they were back at base and refused to answer any questions. Apparently, there were cameras on the roof. Footage of her… her life mongering had gotten out. Her identity blown, and her morality questioned.

She was a public figure overnight. General of team viper, and possible Sith right under everyone’s noses.

The four of them were to speak in front of a crowd, to regain rebel support, trust. Media coverage was arranged and Raina was dreading it all. She wanted to go to Dagobah, she wanted to meditate. Instead she was carted in front of a group of strangers to be judged for something that they didn’t understand.

Calla had note cards to read from since Raina was still oddly quiet, Organa didn’t trust her to be put in front of a crowd and say the right thing for once.

The group was made up of all species and sexes and the four of them, all dressed in variations of off white with their hair down (to make them look naïve apparently). The spark in Calla’s eye was something that couldn’t be hidden though as they all stood on a stage and Calla cleared her throat.

“Welcome to all,” Her notecards were up and being read from verbatim, “We are aware of the discouraging rumors being spread…” Everyone was silent, listening, as she paused and looked up.

Calla looked back to each of her friends in turn, before smiling at Raina and throwing the cards on the ground to everyone’s surprise, “Let’s start over. My name is Calla, this here is Raina, Jem and Willow. We are four girls, all from different pasts, that have a unified wish to see a better galaxy. The one person I trust to ensure that wish comes true, is Raina Ca’veth Kenobi.” There were a few grumbles but Calla kept talking even as Raina found the floor extremely interesting, “She led a team that took me from slavery to freedom. I wanted to fight so I could get revenge, and she taught me. I think, the day I confronted her, she knew. She knew that I would stop fighting against something and start fighting for something instead.

“Raina has been the kindest individual I’ve ever met and she has the power to spread that compassion. The way I see it, you’re all standing out there, judging a girl you never met, for using a power you don’t understand, on a set of rules none of you have ever studied. If she is the last Jedi in this galaxy, then why must she be held to the rules of those who perished long ago? Who are you to say otherwise?”

The crowd was stunned and more than a little displeased, then Raina spoke, “Calla, please, I admit I made a mistake.” Voices began to raise with questions but Raina only held up a hand for them to stop, “What happened on the roof was not supposed to happen. Unfortunately, that is all there is to be said. What is up to every person to decide is who they’d rather fight with, me or them?”

**_Once I was twenty years old, my story got told  
I was frightened by everything I saw before me_ **

Raina stood around a table with people much older than her, earing her suit with the band of team viper on it, “You can’t suggest we surrender.”

“If it’s war you want, you’ll fight it alone!” Representative Pamlo said pointedly.

The round table was arguing again. A new element had been brought it. The Death Star. And a young girl whose father created it, she wanted to go to an off limits planet and steal the plans.

“A death star? This is ridiculous! Why are we listening to what? The daughter of a convict?” Vaspar shot to the young girl watching.

Raina spoke neutrally, “She’s not lying.” Her eyes never left the girl’s, Jyn.

Jyn took her chance to speak, “ You give way to an enemy this evil with this much power and you condemn the galaxy to an eternity of submission. The time to fight is now!”

Raina eyed each leader in turn as Calla spoke from her side, “And you are proposing?”

Jyn seemed to appreciate being listened to, even if by the other two youngest female members, “Send your best troops to Scarif. Send the whole rebel fleet if you have to. We need to capture the Death Star plans if there is any hope of destroying it.”

“You’re asking us to invade on nothing but hope?” Nowar Jebel all but mocked, “I think the alliance is over.” From a tiny agricultural world, it wouldn’t matter terribly to him.

Jyn tried to regain ground, “Rebellions are built on hope!”

Mon Momath spoke softly, kindly, “Without the full support of the council, the odds are too great.”

Jyn looked to Calla and Raina, “You two command the best team of this rebellion. Are you just going to sit there and let make the big decisions for you?”

Calla exchanged a hopeful look with an at-odds Raina before they both just walked away from the table to a hushed conversation of their own, quickly joined by Willow and Jem.

“We have to do something. The girl is right, if we wait too long this fight won’t be winnable.”

Raina and Calla walked into the hanger and paused once sure no one would overhear, “I agree Calla, but with how the council stands I am not sure how to take such direct action without one of them turning against us. They still barely trust me. I have direct orders not to go into anything without approval.”

“I don’t.” Calla said, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows. The first display of true resistence shown to Raina.

Her master’s eyes widened, “Don’t you dare. Look, I agree that the mission has the right idea, but it is a suicide mission! I will not lose any of you, do you understand?” She looked at each of them in turn and slowly they all nodded, albeit reluctantly. Raina sighed, “I’ll go talk to Organa, see what I can do. There will be another chance, I promise.” She patted Calla on the shoulder as she left them.

 Jyn and her party was discussing, growing in number and Calla watched in anxiety. She’d come to love their cause, Raina had brought her something to fight for and just expected her to give up so easily?

She spoke to Willow and Jem, “Look, I’m going with them.” The words were worse than treason, “Raina will forgive me, she may even come around. Are either of you coming with me?”

Raina approached Organa and Mon Momath with purpose in her step, “What do you want us to do exactly? Just sit back and watch the galaxy go to shit?” Calla’s temper had rubbed off on her in time.

They let her join them in step, “Raina, we know war is inevitable.”

“Then we need to act immediately. I agree with the girl. If we have any chance of this it needs to be a fully staffed assault.” They both nodded in understanding.

Organa spoke with hands folded behind his back, “I will go to Aderlaan and inform them there will be no peace.”

Mon Momath was one of the diplomats that looked at Raina like a young girl, “Your father?”

Raina tried not to be stunned by the question, “In hiding. I think he’s quite done with wars.” Her words were carefully chosen considering what she knew of her father.

Organa nodded, “I will send word to him. He’d be an ally either way.”

Raina tried not to sound impatient, “And in the meantime?”

The two adults looked at her with apology on their faces but she saved them the time as she walked off.

Only her team wasn’t in the hanger where she left them. It was odd, but they had been in a mood so she began walking to their bunks next, slowly reaching out for each of them individually only to find the base empty.

Then her stomach dropped.

She didn’t need to shout to clear her path to the communications room, “Any word from Scariff?” She unsuccessfully tried to sound calm.

“Scariff, ma’am?” One rebel replied and she nodded as a couple of them began working on the pseudo command.

“Rebels on Scariff,” The one man barely got to say before Raina was off running again. They’d lied to her. And she hadn’t caught it.

“Admiral Raddus!” She shouted into the hangar and the older Mon Calamari officer turned at her voice, “I need to get to Scariff immediately. With a battle force.” Her words left no room for misinterpretation.

He nodded slowly, “Please.” She added. He’d been most ready to go to war at the table and he had the largest force to offer.

At her plea he smiled and began shouting, “Fighter pilots to my fleet!” His voice lowered as his hanger went into action calling upon those waiting in space for command and loading ships, “Let’s get moving general.” Raina had never felt so much gratitude for someone than in that moment.

“This is Rogue one! Can anyone hear me?”

Raina was the quickest to reply, “Yes Rogue one, this is General Kenobi and Admiral Raddus! We hear you!”

Her comm flickered to life in her ear as she replied.

Calla was shouting commands, “Will, cover left. Jem get our backs-“

The man on the other side of their communication to Rogue one replied, “We have the plans! They found the Death Star plans. They have to transmit them from the communications tower! You have to take down the shield gate. It's the only way to going to get them through!”

Raina moved as if to do so herself before Raddus grabbed her arm as she went to walk by his chair, “You’re staying right here. Get a hammerhead corvette! I have an idea. Kenobi, can you booster our shields?” The question was a fool’s errand but she closed her eyes anyways.

The shields’ power began to rise from 51% to 71% before she felt it wearing on it, the energy being too much. She came out of it, resting a hand on the dash, “I have to get down to the planet. My team is down there.” She spoke to Raddus, holding her head with her hand.

She knew the look he gave her, the pity, and the denial before he had to say it, “I need to get down there.” She tried to inflect in a different way but he just looked back at her sadly.

She spoke to the comm in her ear, “Calla, come in!”

The wry laugh of her best friend rang in her ear, “Hiya general!” The blaster noise coming through was not comforting, nor was Calla’s pained tone, “Don’t suppose you can get us out of this one?”

“Admiral, receiving transmission from Scariff!” A member of the crew called out and Raina knew.

She knew military tactics and had made enough difficult calls. She knew they’d run. This battle was not one they could win. They’d gotten their objective.

Her eyes began to sting, “My conditions Calla,” She began sadly, “My orders. You promised.”

Her friend could hear the crack in her voice even as blasters narrowing missed them and they took out the few surrounding them, “Don’t blame yourself Raina, please. I made this choice. We all did.” Her voice matched her mentor’s in tone.

“Admiral we have the plans!” Raina laughed what sounded like a sob as she made for a side hallway, determined not to let any of them see a tear.

“You guys did it. The death star plans.” She said looking up to keep tears from falling, “I’m sorry I’m not down there.” She meant it, she really did. She should’ve been leading them, as they always did.

“I’m not.” Calla’s voice hardened, “I know I always said I didn’t need a mother, and I didn’t want a sister.”

“Don’t.” Raina warned.

“I am so glad you gave me both. All of you gave me a family, and a cause.”

Raina was crying now despite best efforts but she tried to calm the force which threatened to rage around her, “I was never supposed to lose you guys. I was supposed to protect you.”

She heard Calla’s voice crack and then Willow replied, “Let us protect you for once.”

The words and the promise that she’d come back for them, all of them were on her tongue before she heard, “Sir, we’re detecting a massive object emerging from hyperspace!”

“No.” She raced back on the deck to see the huge moon sized object take form in the sky. The tempest that was her power had a thin leash on it, “Calla they brought their-“

“We see it.” She cut Raina off.

The green line of energy cut from the Death Star to the planet’s surface and Raina felt like her heart was being pulling from her chest, she took a deep breath before speaking, “I am so proud to have taught all of you, and to have been your friend.”

“Sister.” Calla corrected, the three of them on the beach watching the water’s reaction to the energy, building a wave, “Proud to have been your sister. May the force be with you.”

They had never said the old-fashioned phrase and Raina’s voice choked, “May the force be with you.”

“Rain, know that you will never be alon-“ The comm cut off and Raina watched out of the window as the water of Scariff rose over the land.

She was helpless as her soul felt like it was being ripped apart.

Admiral Raddus took pity on the girl general at the window for a moment only, “Rogue one, may the force be with you, always. Prepare the jump to hyperspace.”

Raina nodded in agreement and forced her fists to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

An imperial flagship hyperspaced into being right before them to fire upon their ships and Raina jumped back, “Give me the plans.” The words were not argued with while Raddus nodded as they handed her the disk.

“General- get moving.” Raina didn’t need to be told twice. She took off running.

“With me!” Rebels came to her side at the sight of her let alone her words. They built around her and the next door froze when the lights powered down and the ship disabled under Imperial forces.

Raina swore in three languages as she grabbed the door and pulled with all the force that called around her. It flew back and she kept running despite the menacing force behind her, “Stay! Hold ground!” It was a death command, she knew but it would give time. She locked the door behind her. She had to get to Leia.  

But this portion of the ship could break off, it was the princess’s own corvette. Raina slowed and shouted to the other side of the final door, pounding with all her might, “Leia! Get it to Leia!” A rebel man came to the door and she opened it just enough to hand over the disc, “Leave! Go!”

The ship broke off leaving open space only where it had sat. The door behind her began to fizz and Raina ritualistically unclipped her lightsabers and held on in each hand, activating them as the door slid open.

The force was a tempest around her, even tossing her hair with no wind to be had, “Wrong turn.” She said through clenched teeth.

Darth Vader breathed and held a hand to the storm troopers that came with him, “Kenobi.”

“Skywalker.” Raina was not feeling polite and she felt the annoyance thrum off him.

“I heard Team Viper was on Scariff.”

“I wasn’t invited to the party.”

They both moved at once, Raina falling into Soresu evenly against the furious forms of Vader.

“Defensive?” Vader asked in regards to her stance.

Raina tried to let a blow glide off her as she leapt back, “Don’t forget, I’m younger than you, old man.”

She’d seamlessly slip into Makashi, aiming with precision and efficiency against his wipe sweeps. Raina jumped over and flipped effortlessly around him. Leverage, position, advantage all came naturally to her.

They went on for less than ten minutes before Raina just stopped, barely out of reach, “Let’s be real.”

Vader stopped with her, “Excuse me?”

She deactivated her lightsabers, tucking them into her belt, “You aren’t going to kill me because I know a secret that would throw your world upside down. And I would not manage to kill you, all the storm troopers and an entire fleet with an already disabled ship.”

“If the ship wasn’t disabled?” He asked in something that almost sounded like humor and Raina in her emotion had to laugh.

“Then I’d fight.” Her lightsabers stayed in her belt and Vader deactivated his, “I have a feeling we have a great deal more in common than either of us would like to think.”

 _Raina, know that you will never be alon-_ She wanted to cut him into pieces. She wanted him to regret ever starting this mess. To regret his actions against the temple, her mother, her master, all of them.

The tempest around her cooled to an ocean between them.

But she would be patient. She would be better.

 _Once I was seven years old, momma told me_  
Go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely  
Once I was seven years old

**Author's Note:**

> My first Archive of Our Own Fic, please be kind but I'd love any feedback people are willing to give. Thanks for reading! <3


End file.
